How to have meaningful family conversations
Can We Talk?

Elder care discussions

My Dad had a great sense of humor and loved comedy. We both enjoyed Joan Rivers and her famous line, "Can we talk?" She was a leading comedian of his generation and mine too.

"Can we talk?" lost its comedic thread when my sister and I knew that it was time, more accurately PAST time for "The Talk." No humor could sway my Dad in that regard until it was "no laughing" matter when we, the family, found ourselves in a full-blown catastrophe without a plan. We had ignored the writing on the wall and avoided "The Talk" altogether.

Have Elder Care Conversations

I can't encourage strongly enough that families adopt the 40/60 rule guideline as the perfect timing to start discussions concerning aging matters. That simply means when the children are 40-ish, and the parents are 60-ish. Yes, it's THE most dreaded conversation to have with parents since "The Birds & the Bees" from our adolescence. Regardless, it is a stop all the FUSS....and start to DISCUSS!

With 100 people turning 60, every 13 minutes taking responsibility for our future of aging is necessary. Many of the 78 million Baby Boomers and their parents are facing dilemmas and sometimes challenging situations because "The Talk" never happened.

They avoided it. Now they scramble to make late-in-life transition decisions on a whim.

These decisions are detrimental to the quality of life and deserve more attention. The conversation does not need to be "Doom & Gloom". It is merely a family discussion about the next "LIVING" chapter of one's life. Shifting your perspective from making plans for dying to make plans for "LIVING" can remove the fear and dread for everyone! Here's how:

How to Begin "the Talk"

Begin with a simple discussion of how and where your parents see themselves living in the next few years. It's important to bring up elder care discussions early on before care is needed. Having the talk with the entire family will put everyone on the same team.

  • How will things be handled should unforeseen circumstances arise suddenly?
  • Address each health, financial and safety matter.
  • Seek professional input as needed.
  • Complete the research, including options, for discussion.
  • Call the meeting and prepare to be surprised!


  • IF: You and your family are on the same page even before everyone sits down to talk....
  • IF: You eliminated unnecessary anxiety that had been mounting for years....
  • IF: You avoided a crisis because you and your family "planned ahead" and had "The Talk"......

JUST IMAGINE............

Family conversations that focus on loved ones growing older is not a pleasant one to have. Who on earth wants to discuss aging issues? We don't, but we have to. Especially, if we wish to age gracefully.

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